One of the most amazing things about my husband ( and 2nd shooter!), is that he is a dreamer. One of the hardest things in the first part of our marriage was the fact that my husband was a dreamer. See how I figured out how to thrive and not go crazy while being married to this incredible man! Click here to check it out! 

wow. I cannot believe its been 10 years. It went by so stinking fast! I just can’t believe it. It seems like yesterday we visited the Troll under the bridge for the first time….then got stuck on 99 and drove all the way to Alki Beach. All the while talking and never running out of things to talk about. That was our first (non) date.  The rest was history. He makes me laugh till I cry, he holds me when I do cry and he watches me tear up from across the room while we are shooting weddings. He’s my driver, provider, protector and calmer-downer. He steps up when I need him, and supports me when I have dreams. I cannot believe how much I love this man. This isn’t to say that we haven’t had trials in our marriage…but, in the end, we know that we love each other and there is no one in the world that knows me better.

Here are a few of my favorite tips for getting to 10 years of marriage.

1. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. I think about all the things I used to get annoyed with. Drew not putting his clothes in the laundry basket or getting his hair all over the sink when he shaves….and a few other things that used to get on my nerves. I don’t know how…or why…but they just don’t bother me anymore. I let go. The house doesn’t have to be perfect….and those things seem so minute and fleeting, when we have happy, healthy kids and a spouse that wants to spend time with you. There are a lot of bigger things to worry about than a little hair around the bathroom sink. Remind yourself that these things don’t really matter in the grand scheme of life.

2. Be thankful. Again, life is short. If you find yourself forgetting what is important in life, make yourself a list…of all the things you are thankful for. Your husband, your kids (yes this includes dogs!), a roof over your head and food for your belly. I’m so thankful that I’ve been able to be home with my kids our whole marriage…and that my husband has worked really hard to build a business and provide for our family!

3. Respect your spouse in words and deed. I think sometimes women have a hard time understanding what this means. I know I did. I kinda thought to myself…”I repect him…but he doesn’t really understand this issue.” I would feel the desire to repeatedly share my opinions and feel the right to be angry if he didn’t take my side….or give him the cold shoulder if I didn’t get my way. Not cool!  There is an element of not trusting that your spouse has your best interest in mind when you don’t give them the benefit of the doubt….and say your piece, then let them decide on what to do. Its better to just support your husband, than to have a wedge between you.

4. Go on Dates! Spending time together is like the glue that keeps you stuck together. When you don’t intentionally spend time with your honey, you can drift apart more easily. The more shared experiences you have together, the more chances you have to create memories, be proud of each other and just laugh together. If you don’t have a common hobby…make one up!  Try new restaurants, go hiking, travel or whatever…just find something to do together. Some of the best times I’ve had with Drew are dates we went on….sharing a glass of wine and just laughing together.

5. Forgive First, Forgive often.  Refer to #1.

6.Have a lot of sex. Alot.

7. Never let anything come between you in the marriage bed…..kids, computers, work, Ipads, Iphones or anything else. Go to bed at the same time and snuggle. Nothing feels like home more than laying my head on Drew’s chest before we go to sleep. Its home.

8. Play games. not head games….board games. Nothing like a healthy competition. We’ve had many a belly laugh  while playing Settlers of Catan, Scrabble, and True Colors ( a game I found at the goodwill).

9.  Give & Serve together. The guy loves  people. He’s much more compassionate than I am…and will give the shirt off his back to anyone who needs it. I’m working on that part. But..giving to others in need reminds us that we have more than we need and it brings us closer together when we spend time giving and serving others.

10. Jump into Faith Together. One of the the things that I admire most about Drew is his wisdom and knowledge when it comes to spiritual matters. Something that has given us hope in times of need, failure and trials is our mutual faith and love for God. When things are good, we thank God, when things are hard, we thank God….because we know that our life is in His hands. We can pray together…and know that everything is going to be ok. Like the time we almost couldn’t buy our kids Christmas presents. Or the time we almost couldn’t pay our mortgage. Or the time I thought I had a brain tumor. Or the time I thought something might be seriously wrong with our son.  Its times like those that pull us together, instead of push us apart because we go to God in prayer. If you haven’t had a faith in God before, there’s no time like today to put your trust in him. If you have questions about this, please feel free to email me at Kaylee@eylanderphotography.com. I would love to encourage you.

***Warning***….If you are newly married or in a new relationship…this WON”T apply to you…as you have not entered this stage in your relationship yet. Once you start wearing sweats around the house most of the time…come back and read this post!

Girls….particularly my married friends out there…..I’m just going to lay it out there. If you have been married for more than a year, we ladies tend to relax in the primping area. Especially if we are just staying home. Don’t get me wrong….when I get home from…well, just about anything, I, too, immediately change out of my restricting high heel boots and constricting jeans, into my “comfy pants” just like you…but when we are spending  more time in our comfy clothes than not, its time for a What Not To Wear like intervention! A wake up call, if you will.

To battle this slacker tendancy I am going to challenge you to invoke a strict monthly schedule of  SDN…Slutty Dress Night. What is this, you ask? This is a night to shed the comfy pants in lew of the the most low cut, short and sexy dress and the highest pumps you can find, have a candle light dinner at home, and see where the night goes from there.

I know, I know! You have so many reasons why this sounds un-doable and kind of obnoxious. Well…that is the point! Think if it as a night of dress up! We all have dresses and heels in the closet waiting to see the light of day…and if we don’t make occasions to show off the goods, we might never do it! Ask yourself….When was the last time I pulled out the false eyelashes, Victoria Secret push up bra,  had a candle light dinner and had a lovely conversation with my man…all while he desperately tries to make eye contact?

A while? More than a month? Its time!

I’m going to lay out your plan for Success for Slutty Dress Night.

• Get a Date on the Calendar with Babysitting
• Get your Booty to Ross and find your Slutty Dress. I like to find mine at Ross, Marshalls or TJMaxx. For $9.99, you can throw your man a bone, and he will gladly hand over the cash. :) I challenge you to go for something you would NEVER wear in public…something too tight, too short and too low cut. Something that you feel sexy in! That’s the whole point. This dress is for your man’s eye only. :) What’s his favorite color? Red? Look for a red dress. Don’t worry if you feel a little self conscious….if it shows your curves, you are on the right track!
• Find your highest heels. Dust them off and Shine those puppies up!
• Get out your False Eyelashes and your eye shadow! Here is a great tutorial about how to apply Victoria Secret over the top make-up! If you aren’t confident about it, watch this and just have some fun (even if your man has never seen your with this much make-up…I guarantee that he might like it for one night a month!)
  

• Give your Hair Some Serious Volume…Curling Iron, Teasing and Hair Spray, or…just follow this tutorial:

• Set the table with your favorite table cloth and use your favorite plates that never come out of the cupboard.
• Light your candles & play some romantic music.
• If you serve chicken nuggets and french fries…I promise, your man won’t mind! He will most likely be taking in the view and will not remember anything about the meal. Don’t stress about this part…IT DOESN’T MATTER!!!!!!
• Have 3 questions ready for discussion for your lovely conversation (avoid chatting about the every day stuff…and no talk about kids and money!) Pick a few, and both of you answer. Just a few I suggest:
  1. What was your favorite date that we have gone on?
  2. Where would you like to go on vacation next?
  3. Tell me 3 things you like about me.
  4. What is one thing that surprised you about me when we first met?
  5. What is one thing I could do regularly that would make you feel loved?
  6. What is an activity that we have never done together that you would like to try?
  7. Where do you see us in 5 years?
  8. What is your favorite meal?
  9. What is on your Bucket List?
  10. Tell me 1 Childhood memory that I have never heard.

After this point, its up to you….

The most important thing…..Give your man your undivided and flirtatious attention.

Our husbands do so much for us…sometimes we forget, or take them for granted…Now is your chance to remind him what a special, amazing man he is…and how much you appreciate him. If you do nothing else…FLIRT!!!

Go get em girls…and send me a message at Kaylee@eylanderphotography, or leave a comment and tell me how it goes!